A Vortex of Hate

I ended up playing around 8 hours today.  I started at 2:00 p.m.  The session started very slow with some very tough beats on the cash tables.  I entered two tournaments while I was mult-tabling cash tables, the $3.30 rebuy, and a $11 rebuy.  Losing $33- 55 on the $11 rebuy would not have been good for my roll, but I wanted to take somewhat of a shot today.

The 3.30 rebuy I finished around 450^th place out of 5,800 people.  This was good $27, and I probably invested $9.30, so it was basically complete shit for the time involved.  I busted out when some idiot mindlessly called my all-in push WITH 7 9!!!??!?!?!  I was holding AJ which obviously lost.

I then turned my attention to the $11 rebuy tourney knowing with a place I should at least be able to turn a profit on the day. A massive 4,500 people entered the tournament.  It had a tough payout structure and only the top 603 finishers were paid.

At the 3 hour mark my chip stack was around 26 k.  The average for the tournament at this time was 26,900 so this was right around where I wanted to be.  Most of the profit during the 3^rd hour came from fighting hands out in the trenches, rather then winning a particular big hand.  My strategy at this time was to play within myself and not do anything stupid (easier said then done).  With the blinds at 400/800 I kept reminding myself that there was no reason to go to war and bust considering the time I had left in relation to my stack size.

At about 3 hours and 15 minutes into the tournament I doubled up and avoided a suck-out for once in my life with a monster hand.  My overpair KK held up against a open-ended straight draw and I doubled up.  After that hand I had a solid stack around 50,000 and the blinds were 500/ 1000 ante 100.  I soon was moved to a table with this guy who had an avatar of his cat.  I immediately started yelling at him to "GET THE FUCKING CAT OFF THE TABLE".  I almost called a moderator to sort the mess out, and threatened not to play in the presence of this hairball.  I think the table found the situation rather funny.

Around the 4 hour mark I lost 40,000 of my 60,000 chips all in preflop.  Some fool called my 3-bet push with 55.  I was holding AA and he  flopped his 5.  So as you know it’s incredibly hard to come back from such a horrible beat.  When I saw that 5 on the flop I just remember feeling disgust and disbelief.  These feelings were soon replaced by me wanting to jump into the computer matrix style and beat the shit out of people:

But seriously I feel like I could have easily made a push for a top 100 finish if that hand held up.  I somehow managed to come back from the brinks of nothingness and turned my 10,000 into about 40,000 and rallied for a comeback before I busted out.

I survived a long time, but was defeated around the 5 hour mark finishing 180^th out of 4500. I was not happy about the last hand, I was all in on the button about 48,000 preflop with AK suited, the blinds were 3000/6000 ante 600.  The original player raised 30,000 all in under the gun and was holding 89.  The problem was that the big blind was holding AA, so that was it for me.  I really wish I would have folded the hand and waited (I actually debated folding at the time and had a bad feeling), but I correctly put the under the gun player on shit, and you can never assume that the small or big blind are going to be holding AA.  180^th was still good for about $200, so that is a profit of about $170 for playing the 5 hour tournament.  Also, I was multi-tabling NL tables for profit during that same time. The biggest hand I won on the cash tables came around 7p.m when I hit a MONSTER hand on a 6-max NL. Two people were chasing the same flush and my trips held up:

*** HOLE CARDS ***

Dealt to bagglife [Ad Kd]

nietsloffe: raises $0.25 to $0.50

margil71: calls $0.50

Kirisan: folds

cardssb41: folds

Alphagolf: calls $0.40

bagglife: raises $1 to $1.50

nietsloffe: calls $1

margil71: calls $1

Alphagolf: calls $1

*** FLOP *** [Kh 2c Kc]

Alphagolf: bets $4.75

bagglife: raises $5.25 to $10

nietsloffe: folds

margil71: calls $10

Alphagolf: calls $5.25

*** TURN *** [Kh 2c Kc] [Qd]

Alphagolf: checks

bagglife: bets $12

margil71: raises $0.70 to $12.70 and is all-in

Alphagolf: raises $12 to $24.70

bagglife: calls $8.95 and is all-in

Uncalled bet ($3.75) returned to Alphagolf

*** RIVER *** [Kh 2c Kc Qd] [Td]

*** SHOW DOWN ***

Alphagolf: shows [Jc Qc] (two pair, Kings and Queens)

bagglife: shows [Ad Kd] (three of a kind, Kings)

bagglife collected $16.50 from side pot

margil71: mucks hand

bagglife collected $71.10 from main pot

*** SUMMARY ***

Total pot $90.60 Main pot $71.10. Side pot $16.50. | Rake $3

Board [Kh 2c Kc Qd Td]

Seat 1: margil71 mucked [Ac 6c]

Seat 2: Kirisan folded before Flop (didn't bet)

Seat 3: cardssb41 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)

Seat 4: Alphagolf (small blind) showed [Jc Qc] and lost with two pair, Kings and Queens

Seat 5: bagglife (big blind) showed [Ad Kd] and won ($87.60) with three of a kind, Kings

Seat 6: nietsloffe folded on the Flop

 -(Flush happy anyone???)

Overall my biggest payout today came from placing deep in the  $11 MTT rebuy tournament.  I also won over $70 on the cash tables.  This offically snaps my Sunday losing streak, and it was a very big session for me.  I was beginning to feel like the Baltimore Orioles for a while (who have somehow lost 14 straight Sunday games in a row).  Incredibly I again have the bankroll to move back to $50NL if I want, but I’m going to probably hold off until I win 5 consecutive sessions.  I have already won 3 straight, so 2 more and I would allow myself to move up.

Session Summary:

Time played: 8 hours

Starting Bankroll: $1155

Ending Bankroll: $1397

Net Profit: $242

I made more today playing a 25NL side poker project then I will at work tomorrow so I’m quite happy  ;p

Played about 4 hours tonight.  First session I have played over 2 hours in a long time it seems.  I had a good time and made a respectable amount of profit for playing 25NL.  I kept it at around 4 to 6 tables at once.   I also busted on a ridiculous hand late in an FPP tournament around the bubble like usual.  Stars was extremely tight, but there were profitable situations to be found and exploited.  I also mixed in two 6-max tables.  It is my plan to start throwing in 6-max tables at the same time.  I love when you actually find a bad players on 6-max tables because it is just so much easier to pick them out and exploit.  I also feel like it is easier to mix your play up.

Anyways I'm 85% sure that I’m going to stay in town this weekend.  I want to play at least 6 hours if I stay in town giving me 10 on the week.  The swings can be crazy in 25NL so I best be prepared.

 Summary of the 4 hour session tonight:

Starting Bankroll:  $1093

Ending Bankroll:  $1155

Net Profit:   $62

I played about 4 hours tonight.  This was the first time in 20 days  I played an online session.  I stuck to about 4-6 tables on 25NL.  I also entered a $11 MTT.  Nothing really eventful on the cash tables; finished down about $10 total.  I forgot I can't seem to win cash tables on Sunday anymore ;p.  I was doing very well in the MTT, but busted around the bubble.

The final hand I was all in preflop with KK, which of course lost to someone's AQ spiking the ace on the flop.  This hand would have tripled me up.  I can't really feel bad about that since I made the correct play.  I would also like to apologize for my blatant injection of personal issues that went into my previous post.  I look back and it is rather pathetic and unlike me.  It is sometimes easy to forget that the one thing we can definitely control is our thoughts.  I am now feeling very close to normal again and had an incredible weekend.  The summer is in full gear and it is time for me to never again look back on one of the bigger mistakes of my life.  My online poker sessions might still be limited for a while simply because I think it's a good idea to limit the time I spend playing low-limit poker in my basement alone.

I am also weighing the idea of scratching the project and investing one or two thousand dollars into online poker.  This way I feel like the blinds I am playing would be worthwhile.  I liked the idea of not investing any additional money, but the time-constraints in my life make this goal very difficult.  Not investing any more money will teach me discipline, but I ask at what point am I just wasting my time?  I guess I have to decide what is more important:

A.  Using online poker to supplement my income

or

B.  Using online poker as a project/hobby.  The main goal being to improve my poker-skill and discipline.  

(Deep down I know B is the right choice.  The trick is to just keep convincing myself that.)

Starting Bankroll:  $1116 

Ending Bankroll:  $1093

Loss:  -$23 

Hello all,

 I would like to first apologize for my lack of posts.  My current bankroll sits at $1116.  I am officially back to grinding on 25NL tables when I do decide to play again.

 I have had a lot going on in my life the last few weeks, which has helped contribute to the downswings and lowered interest in poker.  I recently found out my ex has already started seriously dating someone else.  I expected it from her, but the news has really crushed and hurt me.  The last few days I have felt a mild pain in my stomach and haven't felt like eating much.  It's a feeling I have only got a few times in my life, its like I can't tell when I'm hungry, my stomach feels the same (bad).  And when I finally eat its like I have no appetite.

 Anyways its times like this when I know poker is not a great idea.  This is because when my emotions are unstable I lack discipline and make poor decisions.  Playing under 10 hours a week would be fine if I feel like it, but I don't think anything more then this is good idea until I have settled the problems in my mind.  I think I need to focus on healthier goals until my mind feels free again.  This could take a week, or even months, who knows. 

I have been staying as active as possible, I want to get in even better shape.  I also have been getting back into tennis, and entered a 2-day tournament this weekend.  I also want to spend more time with family and friends.  Another goal is to keep writing.  I won't to continue to see the everyday humor in life and share it with the world.  This will really help me I think.  I also want to focus on my career, I need to build a financial base for myself or I know I am behind in this messed up world.  Grinding out low limit blinds should not interfere with my sleep schedule and productivity at work.  This project is awesome, but the time commitment is very consuming.

 I have been searching deep inside myself to try to be the most happy and live the best I can at this very confusing time in my life.  I need to find in my soul the ability to not only move on and accept, but detach from rage;  even forgive.  I know I am strong enough, but unfortunately my online poker goals might take a hit for a while.  I will make it an effort to post any sessions I play from now on.  Hope everyone is well.

-Mike

I was playing very well and was up over $50 most of the night.  But I decided to chase after a complete moron like usual.  The worst player I have ever seen, and I can't dodge a suckout to save my life.  After waiting hours he takes a $100 pot as his A2 rivers a gutshot straight vs my QQ.  Then he advances a straight with 68 offsuit vs my AK top pair to take another $100 pot.  After this he proceeded to piss away all the chips he made in about 20 fucking minutes.  Story of my life, well its been fun... not really, but whatever.

 Loss:  $-69

Roll:  $1236

Pokerstars should have a bad beat jackpot.  I'd be a millionaire.