Ticket; My Car?

As if I didn't have enough problems living in a Nazi-like housing situation, I now find myself having issues at Villa Julie's main campus.  About a week ago I was running late for a class.  The class started at 2 p.m.  I arrived at the campus about 2:05 p.m.  Instead of driving to the official parking lot and circling around like a moron for fifteen minutes in the overcrowded heap of human filth and metal, I decide it would be best to park in front of the library so I could make it to class as soon as possible.  The parking spot I chose outside the front of the library was labeled a "visitors spot", I think I have seen 3 visitor spots in campuses entirety.  Ok, first off let's keep in mind the definition of visiting... I don't like the stupid place more than anyone else.... I'm visiting my class, and then LEAVING.  I'm not sleeping there right?  I am essentially visiting.  No I do not live at Villa Julie College, I will take the visitor spot thank you.

So one may think I could just visit an hour and go on with my life.  This isn't too unreasonable, right? APPARANTLY IT WAS!  I come out an hour later to find a ticket plastered to my god damn window; $25.  I was so angry I wanted to walk up to the security van parked a few yards from me, pop it's fucking window out, shift its gear to neutral.... and push the stupid van into the library creating an explosion.  Students would flee in terror as the alarms erupted.  For once the tool-box campus “security” would have a real problem to contend with.  In the just created raging inferno I would make sure to throw a $100 bill in the mess: 

"Keep the fucking change"

Hold-on wait, lets give due respect to the security guards for a moment.  The security did do a great job in realizing that I was in the visitors spot over 30 minutes.  Furthermore, maybe I am not what they constitute an "official visitor", whatever the fuck that is.  On the same token, WHAT ARE THEY DOING?  How did they even notice that I was parked in a visitors spot over 30 minutes?????  Where did this particular campus security guard learn this amazing skill to keep watch on all the spots (and have time to do anything else productive in his life), while deciding what constitutes a ticket for violating the rules of a sacred visitors spot? I have only one guess, he learned it in "Visitors School".  Imagine a magical place where elite security guards are sent to train vigorously.  Day after day they practice crushing threats such as taking a visitor’s spot.  They are also encouraged to screw people over by issuing tickets because they are parked with one tire a centimeter over the line.  Oh and if you are playing music to loud WATCH OUT, you might just look over to find campus security clown scowling at you.  Those scowls can just be emotionally damaging.  I really must get this prick of a guard's name; hopefully it’s on the ticket.  I am just increasingly curious as to how he managed to graduate visitor's school.  That shit is SERIOUS man.

Now I find myself standing here with a $25 ticket plastered on my car.  I try to think reasonably.  I say to myself...."OK, it's not that bad and you do have one of the best spots in the school.  You only paid $25 for it.... not that bad of a purchase for this marvelous spot, right?"  In retrospect, we have all paid much more to take a stupid girl out or something, only to realize later how foolish our decision was.  So I am stuck with this top-quality spot for 25 bucks; not so bad I guess.  I returned to the library and completed a few hours of work, this way I was getting more for my money.  I figured I might as well, I should do the work sometime anyway, and what are they going to do; double-ticket me?  It struck me, if I act like I haven't seen the ticket yet, the spot is in theory mine until I take the ticket off.  I was going to leave the car there a few days, this way the spot would almost seem like a good purchase.

Then I thought of a better idea.  How often does security check the ticket once it’s already placed on your car? Um never.  Why would they do that?  It's not logical.  So during the past week I have parked in the exact same "visitors" spot 3 different times.  Each time I placed the same $25 ticket I received a week ago on my car window.  I guarantee you this sort of ignorance is not covered in "Visitor’s School".  It seems not even the elite security guard was prepared for a situation such as this. Talk about a great deal!  I basically purchased the best parking spot in the school for $25. That's a pretty cheap VIP parking pass.  You know what, thanks for the ticket.  I am simply delighted that I could turn it into such a wise investment.

System Overview, Why My Dorms Make NO SENSE

It seems I'm on housing probation entering this year.   For one, I shouldn't be.  Let's just say Villa Julie Housing likes to hold people down.  Furthermore, I have renamed Villa Julie Housing "The System".  A brief overview; the system includes any enforcement agents that work for or support the "set vision" of Villa Julie College and the dorms themselves.  Resident Assistants (RA's), Resident Directors (R.D's), security, and the queen of destruction.......... the leader of it all.......... (who I will not even name for my own safety) are all part of the system I am bound to live in.  I have the clear memory of sitting around asking a friend shortly after a violation was given out..... "why does the system have to hold us down?", (what's going on with that?).  I have been giving several violations for trying to enjoy my life and simply having a few drinks with friends.  I was even denied  a clean slate this year.  So apparently my violations received last year have carried over to the current year.   If I get a violation one more time I'm toast, gone from housing.  How about I go to a bar, drive around smashed, and proceed to smash their stupid gate to pieces with my car?  Is that what they would like me to do?  Or better yet could we try to become a real college and incorporate some activities at night?  So I don't get a clean slate.  I guess the general logic is: "people cant change, no clean slates".  Fine its like that, I've come to even accept that.   

What I have struggled to accept is the situation in my building this year.   This year I noticed that the girls who live directly under me were disturbingly loud A LOT.  I figured... they have to be getting in trouble every night right?  I soon met the girls who live under me.  I began hanging out with them every once in a while.  At first, more intrigue and curiosity then anything.  In my crazy mind, their room had to be some beacon somehow untouched by the system, a rift in time if you will.   I was downstairs a couple of times and it was extremely loud, but somehow they NEVER got in trouble somehow.  This actually led me to a false sense of security, which could have led to my downfall. 

I figured..... "they don't get caught, the system cant catch me down here".  Anyways, I find myself imagining what the world would have been like if I partied half as much last year; as these girls party this year.  Well it would have been something like this:  an R.A would not have even written me up.  No, they would have chucked a grenade through my window. No,  FUCK THAT.  they would have pulled out a rocket launcher and shot it at my window, reducing half of the building to rubble.  Then they would have proceeded to plow away the burning rubble off a mountainside.  I'm not saying this place has something against me......... they just want me to........ not be living anymore.  I just find it amazing that the chicks downstairs could basically have a bonfire in the middle of their room and not get in trouble, but last year I ended up getting a violation for essentially nothing.  Last year, I wouldn't have been able to cower under my hamper and drink a beer in safety.   Anyways the friendly citizens downstairs successfully went an entire semester without getting in trouble once.  At least i got to enjoy some of it with them.  

PARTY ON DOWNSTAIRS!!!

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Congrats!  You have reached my personal site.  Here I will be writing about random rants relating to things I feel necessary to post.

Enjoy,

Brandon Chester